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Caitlin is a girl who will likely never truely relize how i feel for her. Maybe with us togeth this yearll be better for both of us?

Happy New Year everyone...


truly*, realize*, together*, year'll*
Man, you must've been drunk or really tired typing this.
the question is also whether you will ever realize it baby.

It will be a better year. <3
I think it was a better year.

*sigh. Do you remember how you used to talk about me this way?

Do you remember when you made it so clear how you felt?

Do you remember when you used to play with my hair, hold my hand, and kiss my cheek?

Do you remember that night when you held me for hours as I wept?

Do you remember when you knew that you'd lose me but still you held me close?

Now, I don't want you to be scared of losing me, because I'm not going anywhere. And I know you love me. I love you too. But I do sometimes feel like you've let some of that go because we're in a serious, committed relationship. I want to be special to you... not just the one who didn't leave.

You once said that I should always tell you when I was feeling neglected. I'm saying it now... albeit in a place you'll never read. I look at my desk, strewn with post its from you, and I want to cry, because those little papers are all I have right now. Until this shit is over, that's all I can really get from you. I lay down next to you, but it's like sleeping alone. Even sex feels one sided. I talk with you, and it's good to talk, but the talking only goes so far, and then you're gone again, working again. I wonder how long it'll go on, and how long I'll last. I want my love and my lover back.

I'll wait forever for you... but I wish I could be with you instead of just waiting.

January 2007

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