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Sep. 15th, 2006

Lonelyness

Music says everything sometimes.

Now that I've lost everything to you
You say you wanna start something new
And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'
Baby, I'm grievin'
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
and I'll always remember you like a child, girl

You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do
And it's breakin' my heart in two
Because I never wanna see you a sad, girl
Don't be a bad girl
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

Baby, I love you
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

Baby, I love you
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

Baby, I love you
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

"Wild World" -- Cat Stevens

Sep. 13th, 2006

Lonelyness

Obligation

Recently it has come to my attention that at least 3 of you feel obligated for some reason to me. Stop. Last night i talked to someone about being obligated and thankfully they aren't. This was proved rather well by the lack of a phone call. If you dont love me, stop being obligated, it only does two things; it leaves you open to rejection and hurts my emotions. If you do love me, then do so. There is no excuse--not pain, distance, god, money, sadness, anger, depression, or anything else--as to why you shouldn't. Love is the ultimate feeling.

This is directed specifically to Kim; look you know my feelings on you and in so many ways they will never ever change. Either you love me and will be with me or you no longer love me. No in between. Your'e not here, so you dont love me. Stop checking up on me, the minute you left your obligation did as well. This is not to say that im not appreciative; I have no clue how to move on. You apparently have, so actually do it. Move on, that usually means ignoring me. Checking in on me from time to time until im ready will just mess with my emotions. You will always get the same sad answer within a few degrees. Spend 2 years with me and what do you expect? Smiles? Not when a person is abandoned. I really dont mean for this to sound so mean, but it i make it nicer i wont get my point across. Dont get me wrong, i adore you and i love you... but you cant keep doing this to me... any contact we have will string me along, whether it is good or bad, happy or mean. All i can say to you Kim is this; have a good life, i hope youre as happy as you could ever be in the end not matter when where or with whom it is. Your happiness is all that has ever mattered to me. You made it over; if you cant live with your decisions you have a problem. Short of a ring this decision you made is final.

Aug. 27th, 2006

Lonelyness

(no subject)

I want to sleep but im not tired... again

Aug. 21st, 2006

Lonelyness

(no subject)

For those of you who care... or understand the history... Arg1Arg2.com is now back up...

Aug. 18th, 2006

Lonelyness

Stolen from Nick who stole from a friend on myspace...

Im a Capricorn.
What are you? Is it True? What Is/Isnt?
Read more...Collapse )

Aug. 17th, 2006

Lonelyness

(no subject)

My cat died yesterday of liver failure... i could have sworn he was 14 but my mom says 11... In anycase i loved Midnight... and im gonna miss him...
This is not my... year.

Aug. 15th, 2006

Lonelyness

(no subject)

Humans are stupid predictable cliches.

Aug. 11th, 2006

Lonelyness

Politics Test...

You are a

Social Liberal
(75% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(8% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Socialist




Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Aug. 9th, 2006

Lonelyness

Paycheck...

Work was ok, my pay from July 12th to 31st is 1456$...

On to Marissa, Sara and Kim.
Marissa, you were my first... You were kind and new exactly what you wanted. You have a bit of a crazy side and i adore it. Hah remember the crazy plans we used to make? ... im... not like that anymore... You were honest and trustworthy, and you still are. Youve made mistakes but youve owned up for that and that is harder then not making any. The only mistake i made was dating you FIRST, if i was more open more... something like i am these days things might have worked out differently...
Sara, You were a great person when you wanted to be. Everything any one could want you were. You were even cuddly, which is impossible for me to find these days. You were funny and sweet... But you had something about you that scares me to this day.
Kim, My longest. Still and always my love. We had a million and one plans. You were always kind, even when you tried to be a jerk. You were sweet, and kissable and taught me ALMOST (Riss taught me some) everything i know about loving another. We did have plans, big ones, ones i intended to keep. Believe it or not i was making plans to do so... Then your depression caught up and your constant doubfulness and we ended...

The only relationship i feel like i messed up on was Marissa, but i was new at this... still wish i hadent... Id take any of the three back, i even promised too if they wanted me... and i plan to if one does ask... Id take anyone even somewhat close to these three, i take and one of these three bad or accept anyone who is a combination or any of these three...

This is who im looking for... who can make me happy....

Aug. 4th, 2006

Lonelyness

"*el fin*"

Heres how my CRAPPY evening went... And my now increasingly CRAPPY and LONELY life...

Kim:Read more...Collapse )

Ian:Read more...Collapse )

Michelle:Read more...Collapse )

Olivia:Read more...Collapse )

This journal is likely to go Friends Only for a long time... I dont want to let Kim NOT move on...
Ill post more tomorrow... Maybe... If im still around, in a typing mood and able to get this thing working again...

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